Journeys

We’re often told that life is a journey. I believe it is.

I was born in a place blessed by God with bounty: for if the land could not provide, there is sea. On the banks of these endless seas, I saw distant lands that my young mind wanted to explore. As early as then, I have wanted to travel.

I was a child of nature. My family either till the soil or chased water creatures for food. My siblings and I were taught to fend for us and be responsible at an early age. In my mind, I have to get away from it all. And so my journey began.

Iskolar Ng Bayan

I was lucky to hurdle the “Iskolar ng Bayan” exam. I was ecstatic because I was the only one from my batch to be admitted to the State University. To my mind, I have the best ticket to whatever destination I choose.

My mother let me kiss our village patron saint that was considered as a patron saint of travelers and put a fistful of sand from our doorstep on my pocket on the day I left for college to a place called Tacloban. Mother told me to step on it the moment I alighted from the bus as I arrived in my new home. She explained that the purpose of the ritual was to help me conquer homesickness and make a new home.

My New Home

I did. For twelve years, I made Tacloban as my home base and I only go home during semestral breaks or on special holidays after college. I have become very familiar with the place that I can even write its history and culture. I could not imagine myself leaving Tacloban for long.

After graduation, I worked as a cultural researcher for my Alma Mater and the in-house theater group that I joined in my junior year. My work brought me to the different places in Leyte and Samar and the nearby provinces. I met and befriended people from all walks of life. There were some places I visited only once, others I visited many times because I have to come back to attend weddings, baptisms, fiestas, plantings, harvests, and even wakes. Each place is distinct but almost all people were friendly. My teammates and I survived through the generosity of strangers. We have been to places that some locals have not and would not dare go either because it was too far or too risky. We traveled by foot, by boat or on motorcycles. We encountered storms, floods and all sorts of natural calamities. We dared go to where most of our contemporaries would not for the love of our work and because of our youth.

Re-discovering Oneself

In situations like these, I was back to nature. I would remember my childhood days as a farmer’s son. I can relate exactly to our interviewees’ lifestyle because I was like them. While I was learning new things, I was re-acquiring my previous knowledge and became deeply aware of my roots. It was déjà vu.

After six years, I realized I was not going far. While my batch mates had stable jobs and families of their own, I was still a scavenger. I was not complaining, except that, I felt I owe my family so much that I have to give them more. I decided to pursue another direction: I joined the faculty of the Arts and Letters of Leyte State University, three hours away from Tacloban.

Becoming a Teacher

When I came to LSU, I only knew two former schoolmates who were also previous members of the same theater group as I had. I learned later that another classmate was also in the same university. I love my animosity although it was not long after that I become a local. I love the place.

The school campus is nestled between the sea, the mountains and the sky. The climate was cool and the flowers were abloom all year round. The pace is slow, the setting romantic. It was almost cinematic. On my first day, the sweet smell of mangoes in bloom and the happy chatter of birds greeted me right outside my classroom window. I was back to nature again.

I taught art and history subjects. I also taught them what I learned in my six years of research. I enjoyed teaching except the part when I have to propose new ideas to the faculty. I was with a group of young faculty members who have the same aspiration: to inject new blood and surge forward. We wanted to fight the obsolete and the conservative but three or four voices would not be heard against the thousand. We learned there were others who also dreamt of change but would scamper anyway.

Living the life of a teacher

I was teaching my students what Rizal said in Noli: “Would you rather bow, or hold your head up and lose it?” My next question was, am I ready (read: politically mature enough) to question the system? I realized we were the misfits in that setting. I was miscast in a romantic movie that was too good to be true. I decided to leave after four semesters and head for the big city that I previously dreaded.

Pursuing other dreams

In the big city, I experienced all the desolations that I almost wanted to give up. One of the reasons why I came here in the city is to realize my childhood dream to work as a broadcast journalist so the first thing I did was to visit the two giant TV stations. I confess, I wanted to be on television because I believe I have so much to contribute. For now, I don’t know what the city could offer me. I am still drifting, undecided what course to take.

Life is a journey. I’m on a new one every time.

July 10, 2004